"You couldn't even kidnap U2's guitarist, you're so bad at taking Edges"

Australians spend entire flight to England workshopping convoluted sledge around England's poor slips catching

The Australian white ball squad landed in England exchanging enthusiastic and elbow-based high fives after an extended inflight brainstorming session finally saw them crack a tortuous piece of stadium rock-inspired mental disintegration. Wearing masks to hide their self-satisfied smirks, the comedy brains trust ... (more)

Marvel fanboys slam Anderson over Roman numeral milestone tweet celebrating 600 Test wickets

James Anderson's long history of using Roman numerals to celebrate landmarks on social media backfired on Thursday when fans of the Marvel Cinematic Universe mistook his tweet celebrating 600 Test wickets as praise for long-time rivals DC ... (more)

Ironic Father’s Day gift purchases of SW23 fragrance generates unironic Warne windfall

“Ha ha ha,” tens of thousands of Australian Chemist Warehouse shoppers laughed, as they purchased SW23, the signature Shane Warne fragrance, as a gift for their father this upcoming Father’s Day. “Dad’s going to smell like Shane Warne.” The hilarity of the moment only escalated as the one-tap payment sped through the Australian banking system, where it would eventually be divvied up by accountants in such a way that Warne’s immense wealth would be boosted even further. “This is sooooo funny,” those purchasers thought ... (more)

Channel Seven cricket broadcasting Patreon adds stickers, coffee mugs as stretch goals

Having successfully reached their initial target of 50 subscribers to their Patreon page, Channel Seven have offered further incentives to Australian fans keen to help them crowdfund their coverage of the 2020/21 cricketing summer. “Check out these boss stickers,” enthused Ricky Ponting on the embedded video. “We’ll make them available to all supporters at Flem Level and above once we reach $500/month. And if we reach $750/month then ... (more)

Pre-Recorded Booing Causes Controversy

Angry Barmy Army infantry have accused the ECB of 'betraying English cricket' after the abusive background atmosphere procured for the upcoming T20 and ODI series against Australia was revealed to have been sourced from a 2017 Brisbane crowd. "Are you trying to tell me that we've never matched the foul-mouthed abuse of the Gabba!?" fumed a Mr Brian ... (more)

EXCLUSIVE! The stunning secret behind Buttler's recent batting form

The devil-may-care batting approach of England's wicketkeeper Jos Buttler may have taken a staggering turn for the literal if the new symbols spied on the handle of his bat are to be believed. Keen-eyed viewers during the second Test between England and Pakistan spotted the ICC-endorsed pentagram insignia ... (more)

Discussion with Ashwin about mankads went 'smoothly', reports Ponting

After 'spirited debate', new Delhi Capitals coach Ricky Ponting has agreed to allow the Indian spinner to continue dismissing batters by this method ... (more)

CPL lures players into COVID bubble with Tenet promises

The Caribbean Premier League is reported to have pledged as many as seventeen screenings per day of the long-delayed new film from director Christopher Nolan ... (more)

OPINION: Given the awfulness of the year 2020, cricket was wise to rebrand its shortest form

Although obviously this is just T20 hindsight (more)


ICC continue to pretend that World Test Championship points matter

Vow to maintain pretence 'for as long as India are on top of the table' (more)


Panesar concerned Ageas Bowl might overflow

Ground staff issue statement confirming it's 'not that kind of bowl' (more)


'Chaotic UAE IPL' revealed to be integral part of cryptic crossword clue about Rocky supporting character

'Slips too deep' says Holding

After listening in on several sessions' worth of discussion of quantum physics, the writings of Marcel Proust and the impact of moral relativism on the foundations of religion, Sky commentator and former West Indies fast bowling legend Michael Holding has slammed the Pakistan slips cordon for being 'too deep' ... (more)


NZ fan unable to be shaken from inexplicable claim that Gavin Larsen is greatest cricketer in history

DATABASES IN CRISIS! Pt 4

In the latest instalment of our detailed expose of the devastation inflicted on cricketing databases the world over by South Africa's foray into 3 Team Cricket last month, we talk to a systems engineer at CricViz who reveals how the addition of an extra team tested his SQL skills 'to the limit' ... (more)


Warne spends entire commentary stint monologuing about who Zak Crawley looks like

'Maybe Huckleberry Hound?' muses the champion leg spinner (more)